CCP Manifest
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Posted - 2010.01.31 14:28:00 -
[1]
Edited by: CCP Manifest on 31/01/2010 14:30:19
My worst was also, unsurprisingly, my first "PvP" experience.
The time had come. Time to man up. Time to put something on the line. Time to figure out what stern stuff I was made of.
At that particular point in my EVE career, "stern stuff" wasn't much, ammounting to just enough courage to seek out a defenseless miner with my severely underdeveloped sense of honor and preying on them mercilessly (until someone showed up--at which point I'd warp the heck outta there).
I dusted off my favorite ship at the time--I believe it was a Punisher--and rechristened it as the Hubris III before undocking. t was packed to the gills (I'd filled EVERY SLOT!) with modules I'd gotten from missions. There was no regard for tactical fitting. No need to adhere to the so-called natural "bonuses" of the vessel. This was the Hubris III people! (Hubris I and II were imagined prototypes)
I had some time on my hands so I flew around a bit, eventually and miraculously making it deep into 0.0 unharmed. That first "low sec" warning was a real pulse-pounder. It took me several minutes to decide jump beyond it.
After going through a dozen or so systems and probably 50 belts, I finally found my prey. Tasty.
Bzzzt bzzzzt. Bzzzt bzzzzt. The mining lasers so rythmically regular. So soothing. Their pilot alluringly vulnerable.
Approach. Our ships collided. He didn't react. Must be AFK! I type in local.
"Hello?"
Bzzzt bzzzzt.
I grew bolder, establishing a lock.
Bzzzt bzzzzt.
I check my weapons. Everything looks like it is loaded properly. Flip on my Civvy shields. (Yeah you heard that right)
Bzzzt bzzzzt.
"SURRENDER OR IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!" was the warning I issued IN CAPS for emphasis from my pod aboard the Hubris III.
The reply was patient and unexpected.
Bzzzt bzzzzt.
DONKEY KONG ensued. Well, sorta.
The shields on the Hulk I was facing moved maybe 1-2% thanks to my inability to understand range, ammo type, resistances etc.
Being enamored with EVE's graphics, I had already trained my camera on my victim in anticipation of seeing the explosion of my first kill.
Bzzzt bzzzzt. Bzzzt bzzzzt.
After about ten seconds, the Hulk pilot actually oriented his ship towards me, as if formally addressing me. A reply came through in local.
What are you doing?
"Killing you, that's what!" (Oooh yeah. Good line Manifest!)
Bzzzt bzzzzt. Bzzzt bzzzzt.
...And then five drones popped out and headed towards me.
Now, I'm not sure if everyone reacts the same way I did the first time they have drones trained on them. Well, I hadn't ever used a drone, so these little, fast moving icons were perplexing, and, frankly, horrifying when I saw what they were doing to my shields.
I freaked right the junk out. I experienced the full paralysis of noob PvP combat--searching for the "escape button" but then realizing I still needed to align, and that something to align to was several seconds away from being clicked thanks to the way I'd set up my overview. Some quick, frantic calculations versus the rate my shields were going down and I was frozen in time.
Soon after I got my explosion. Hubris III down for the count.
Never seen a pod before, but it sure looked fragile.
Bzzzt bzzzzt. Bzzzt bzzzzt.
Learned your lesson? came over local chat.
"Yeah, my bad." (Not quite the epic one-liner Manifest...)
Not coming back?
"Nope. Have a nice day. I'll be going back to my station now."
Fly safer.
Bzzzt bzzzzt. Bzzzt bzzzzt.
---
Second worst EVE Blunder?
As Obama was taking the podium during the inauguration, I was in-warp to a lvl 4 in my prized Abaddon.
Howeverlonglater, when I remembered I had been playing EVE, I returned to my laptop and my pod, an instant reminder that if you are going to tank a mission with the sound off, you should at least turn on your armor hardeners. Up until that point, I thought that politics and EVE mixed well. I guess I'm doing it wrong.
--CCP Manifest-- |